It is as we all know, sometimes a marriage does not last, and for some, it can be a relief, yet it can also be a very stressful time. The partner who ultimately decides to end the relationship can also feel many emotions which can lead to painful feelings like confusion, grief, shame and anxiety to name but a few.
If children happen to be involved, these emotions and levels of stress tend to be much higher when going through a divorce.
It is often, people may seek counseling to help them actually leave the relationship or try to save the marriage, whilst others may seek therapy to help them adjust to the single life again. Whatever the ultimate goal, these can be helped by couple’s therapy or individual therapy sessions.
“We married young, so what can I say. Our relationship went downhill fast. It wasn’t what I wanted, yet I had no idea how to put it right. Couples Counseling of Portland new what we should do. If we can’t be married, that’s not to say we can’t split without dragging each other through the dirt.”
- A Rival (Henderson)
In the United States 40 to 50% of couples who are married end up going through a divorce, although there is no one reason why these couples get divorced, a lot of couples actually give a combination of reasons such as:
- Lack of commitment and Infidelity
- Marrying the wrong person or marrying too young.
- Arguments or Communication issues
- Inequality, especially where chores or caring for children are concerned
- Abuse, either Physical or Emotional, or even abuse of chemical substances.
- Problems and disagreements about Finances and money
There is a belief that divorce does not stem from one specific problem but actually, stems from how each partner relates to the other.
It is also shown the following items have a tendency to help predict divorce.
- Criticism, especially if not counteracted by positive statements.
- Contempt and lack of respect. This happens in most marriages
- People don’t take responsibility for a problem are unable to fix it and won’t show empathy towards their spouse.
Stonewalling: a deliberate attempt to avoid problems, this will make it nearly impossible to resolve arguments.
How Divorce Therapy Helps
Once a marriage comes to an end, it can be traumatic for either partner and to help cope with this process which can be physical, mentally and financially difficult, a couple often opt for therapy which is more than often held in individual sessions.
Feelings of fear, guilt, anxiety and many others and attending therapy may help provide objectives and a perspective which seems rational whilst arming the partner with the skills which can help them work through most difficult situations relating to the divorce.
It is possible in some situations, divorce can lead to mental health problems like anxiety and depression, as many people look at it as a failure on a personal level. these feelings can be worked through whilst attending therapy sessions, and gain a more positive perspective.
Divorce Therapy can also be available for a couple who are in the stages of divorce and can help the couples resolve the dissolution of a marriage much better and in a healthier manner.
A therapist is also able to help with issues such as parenting responsibilities, any financial obligations or living arrangements which should be dealt with at this time. It is also crucial for children’s therapy during this time as the parents can be tied up with their own situation and feelings and forgetting the needs of their children.
Once all family members can discuss any feelings relating to a divorce, it is easier for them to process their internal emotions and adjust to the changes ahead.
Many couples who have attended therapy have benefitted as they have learned how to see this as an opportunity for personal development and growth and understand themselves more in the process.